In late 2019 I moved to New York. The first time I came here I was 13 years old, and the idea of living in this city implanted itself in my head. It took me 30 years to manifest it, but I manifested many other things before then. I manifested my amazing sons, my “career”, my wonderful 10-year marriage, my relationships afterwards, my ups and downs, and the 3 years of intense contrasts before New York.
It’s painful for me to look back and remember those years, my waking years, so I try not to because when I do, I can still feel my wounds, I can still feel the love I felt, and the overwhelming sadness, the fleeting happiness, the hurtful loss and the glimpses of home, a home I’ve been searching for ever since I left my country.
New York was intended to be a brief stop before moving to Europe, and it might still be, but it’s not up to me anymore. I found myself here, or maybe just a new self, a more happy self. One guided by intuition and inspiration, one that took love and feeling good as guiding beacons. The explorer and adventurous me, one with no long term plan other than being happy and supporting my loved ones in their happiness.
Breathe, close your eyes and listen, feel, sense what your core is telling you. It is there, whispering with a strong voice silenced by loud noises. The noises of thoughts created by ideas of what needs to be or should be in order to get or achieve what you want. The voice in your head constantly judging, constantly asking, constantly looking for a reason why. But your core does not respond to that voice, your core will never answer its questions, your core will never argue with your ego.
The voice, your ego, the one constantly talking inside your mind, speaks louder but it’s weaker. It convinces you with fake confidence, with aggressive repetition, with continuously showing you the outcome you fear and telling you to stay inside your own limits, where it’s supposed to be safer and more comfortable. It is the illusory border patrol.
Conversely, your core speaks with softer and kinder words, with firmness and strength. It is doubtless and unshakeable, and always knows the way to your happiness. It is there, close your eyes and feel it. Quiet your mind, it is there, your full potential to be, the source of your inspiration.